


Maybe, I Don't Know.

by 25jaefm



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Infedelity, Jealousy, M/M, Smut, Van Days, but terrible and really short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/25jaefm/pseuds/25jaefm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lesson of the day: Communication is key.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe, I Don't Know.

**Author's Note:**

> Tired af but needed some Joetrick angst, hope you enjoy.
> 
> (Also note after every "-" some time has passed, not much, though.)

Leaning into Joe, Patrick thought nothing of it. Nothing of their legs touching, Or their hands propped up together on his knee.

The van was too cold tonight, the heater breaking only a few hours ago. He was wrapped in a couple of his sweaters, Joe doubling up on hoodies. He was sleeping, head propped up against the seat. His eyes closed, nose pointed towards the ceiling.

Patrick glanced over and smiled a little, finding Joe's small snores a bit cute, maybe not so cute when Joe was drooling, all in all a bit charming. He didn't linger on the thought, but it sure did pass through his mind.

Pete and Andy were talking quietly in the front, Pete forgot his meds, and Andy always drives through the night. Paranoid anyone else would fall asleep at the wheel.

It was winter break, Pete got them a few shows outside of Illinois. Nothing big, just a few bars and unknown venues. Well, maybe a bit known.

A few other bands were on this tiny tour with them. Patrick was thankful they had their own shitty buses, not like he wasn't thankful for Old Glory, but she wasn't really.. Glorious.

Patrick's thoughts got knocked out with a laugh and a hard hault, he hadn't noticed they'd pulled into a gas station.

The lights were bright, too bright.

"Want anything?" Pete asked unbuckling, Andy pumping gas into the van. Patrick shook his head and yawned, Pete nodded and hopped out. Yelling something at Andy that got him a middle finger in return, Patrick could hear his donkey laugh as he walked into the station.

Patrick stretched, looking at Joe, deciding to shove him awake. Lightly, though.

After a few tough shakes and "Joe, C'mon."s he was up, face scrunching up and eye's crusted. Opening one at a time, rubbing them clean.

"Where we at?" He asked, voice groggy, something Patrick always found a little more than sexy. Which wow, it was and wow, sexy. Patrick had only had that feeling so many times, and for Joe? That was, weird, right?

"Shell's, Pete just went in. Want me to run in and grab you something?" Patrick unbuckled and sat up, going for the door, Joe pondered and thought. Nodding and pulling out his wallet. They barely had any money, but there's always enough for at least some snack or porno mag.

"Get me the newest Playboy, or like- Have Pete get it, or something- And, coffee."

"Black?"

"Of course."

Patrick got out of the van, shivering against the cold. Joe’s ten bucks in his hand, all crunched up as he scurried inside. Seeing Pete squinting at the candy bars in front of him, Patrick going to his side.

"Snickers, maybe?" Patrick offered, raising an eyebrow. Pete took a moment, then glanced at Patrick before grabbing a Pay Day.

"Traitor," Patrick rolled his eyes, handing him over the money.

"What's this for? For ten bucks, you'll only get a strip tease and-"

"Shut up," Patrick grumbled, hitting him in the shoulder, cheeks going red. Pete smiling cheekily. "Joe wants a Playboy, and some coffee. Go get the magazine and I'll go get the coffee."

"Oh, feisty thing are we today? I love a bossy Pattycakes."  
-

"Here," Patrick said after climbing back in, handing a half dozing Joe his coffee, throwing the magazine in his lap..

"My guardian angel in disguise." Joe smiled lazily as he took the first sip of his coffee, sighing in satisfaction. Glancing down at the mag, smile growing wider.

"Nice, wanna share?"

Patrick shook his head, tucking his hat down further and leaning back, face still red.

"No, not my thing." Joe shrugged and leaned back, flipping through it with all the modesty he didn't have.

Patrick thought about the magazine and the girls in it, looking out the window as he hears light chuckles coming from Joe. Hearing Andy and Pete walking back, apparently having checked out the bathroom to do a quick hair wash.

Patrick was slightly jealous of the girls with the curvy figures and perky breasts, or, maybe he was jealous that they got Joe's attention.  
-

Patrick was sweaty and felt gross. Outside was cold, it felt nice. Frost covering the back parking lots pavement in a thin layer. He heard the next band setting up inside, light chatter, the DJ playing something by some hardcore band.

He heard the back door open up, glancing over and seeing Joe walk out slowly. Smiling and waving lightly, coming up in front of Patrick and lighting a cigarette.

Being considerate and blowing the smoke to the side, watching Patrick as he stared at Joe.

"You okay? You were kinda, acting weird during the show. Like, I don't know," Joe tried to speak, wiping his mouth. Patrick hated that he picked up smoking, he tasted weird in the middle of night, in the back of the van. Quiet, so no one else could hear; know. Also, it was bad for your health, and Patrick worried about those things.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Pete was just, being a dick earlier I guess." Patrick scratched the back of his neck, shrugging his words off his shoulder. He wasn't fine.

It wasn't Pete who hurt him, or said something jerky. It was Joe. Patrick had been sent to find him last night, and he did.

In the Boy's bathroom, getting head from some scene chick.

"Okay, cool.. So, it wasn't about yesterday?"

Patrick bit the inside of his lip and nodded, forcing a smile he hoped wasn't too tight.

"Nah, it's all good, we aren't like..Official, or anything, so it's- All open." Patrick nodded, trying to convince himself more than Joe.

Trying to push off Joe's smile and nod, saying "Awesome." Before putting his cig out and heading back inside,

Patrick didn't see the uneasiness on his face, it was too dark out.  
-

"Fuck, 'Trick." Pete moaned, reaching his hands down and gripping Patrick's hair. Watching as he sucked Pete sloppy. Lips reddish, slobber dripping down his chin. Patrick was such a slut. And right now, he was Pete's slut.

Pete thrusted on accident, coming immediately to the sound of Patrick choking. Squeezing his eyes tight as he came, almost seeing stars.

It's been way too long.

Pete let out a groan when Patrick pulled away, coughing into his hand a little. Pete grinned, watching Patrick rubbed his mouth and stand up. Unaware Patrick came, surprised to see the patch of dark on his crotch.

"You need to eat more fruit, God, fucking gross."

"Try eating healthy on a tour diet, Patrick, it's a little hard. Don't be a whiner." Pete zipped up and wrapped an arm around Patrick's shoulder. Pulling him in a little too tightly, walking back to the van.  
-

"You and Pete?"

Patrick looked up from his book and nodded, grabbing his water bottle and taking a sip. Watching Joe nod slowly, eye's falling back to his guitar. Plucking a little slower, Patrick knew he was thinking.

About what? He wasn't sure. He watched for a few seconds, before going back to the paragraph he was reading.

"I thought Pete was, like, not into the whole relationship deal."

Patrick sighed a little, folding the corner of the page and setting the book down.

They were in Patrick's room, it was fall.

It's been a while since their fling went on, ending quietly, without anything being said. It confused Patrick, broke his heart a little. But he pretended like it was okay, Joe's heart wasn't into it.

He couldn't force him to like him for more than make out sessions and a few backseat fumbles.

They were on their last year of school, Senior year. Fall Out Boy was doing good, better than expected.

Still small, still stressful, but somehow, going strong.

Patrick was with Pete now, out in the open. Which was different.

No one actually found out about him and Joe, so, it didn't really make things weird. Patrick still thought about it though, feeling a little gross knowing he had sucked off two out of the three other members in his band.

"He wasn't, I honestly don't know if he still is but, it just sorta happened.. Back in June, I guess. A lot of...confessions and whatnot, it's weird."

Patrick didn't know how to explain, he found Pete attractive, and had kissed him once before. But, not until June did things start getting different.

Maybe he felt Pete's gazes before, but, it got more... Noticeable. The modest touches, eye contacting, pressing of lips against the side of his neck at shows.

Pete brought it up, the one time they found themselves drunkenly making out in Pete's car. He confessed his "undying love" to Patrick and took his virginity right there a few minutes later.

Patrick unimpressed but not surprised that Pete had a small thing a lube and extra condoms with him.

It hurt, and it sucked for Patrick, but Pete jerked him off afterwards. So at least he got something out of the whole experience.

"Ah." Joe tried to get it, but jealousy only bubbled up in his chest. Watching as Patrick smiled and blushed, biting his lip and casually going back to his book.  
-

"You hang out with Joe a lot more often now," Pete brought up, Patrick and him cuddling on his mattress.

He had just got this new, small apartment. It was nice, having a place to be alone with Pete. Instead of sneaking around at Patrick's house and waiting until Kevin and his parents were gone to actually do something.

"Yeah," Patrick shifted, looking back at Pete from his little spoon position. Looking at his golden eyes, a tiredness he'd seen many times before in them. "School, the band.. I've known him longer, if you've forgetting." Patrick chuckled quietly, Pete smiling and little and nodding.

"What? Are you worried?" Patrick raised an eyebrow, going wide eyed when Pete shrugged and frowned a little.

"Pete, there's nothing to be worried about, we've just been working on some new stuff, c'mon." Patrick shifted so that his entire body was facing Pete, reaching up and cupping his face. Looking into his eye's, speaking softly.

"I've been with you six months, Pete, I'm yours." Pete nodded and leaned in, kissing him softly.

Patrick only feeling a little guilty, that maybe, he just liked hanging out with Joe a bit more than he liked being around Pete.  
-

"You fucking- I liked you, a lot, okay? You never- You were always such a fucking push over!" Joe threw his shoe at the wall, nothing else non fragile in reach.

Patrick was on Joe's bed, tears rolling down his cheeks silently. Shirt off, the only thing standing between him being naked being his boxers.

He wiped away the tears and sniffed, looking at the ground.

Things were going good. How'd they all turn to shit so quickly? Patrick was just over, playing video games for old times sake. Eating stale cereal and listening to Joe's records, the next thing he knew, he was making out with Joe on his living room couch.

Then upstairs on his bed, and then his pants were off, his shirt was off, and they were having sex.

Patrick's never felt so fucking guilty in his entire life, so conflicted and confused.

"I knew, I never…I never said anything, but I was scared.. Of hurting you, of- Being gay, or whatever…I.." Joe didn't know what to say, all of this was just coming out and he couldn't stop it.

He had really strong feelings for Patrick and was pissed, pissed he didn't act on it a year ago, pissed he had let Patrick go. Pissed Patrick let him do that. It was so fucking stupid.

And now they were here, in their fucking boxers, crying and guilt stricken. Broken hearted and lost. Patrick had cheated on Pete and with Joe.

Joe was the shittiest friend, Patrick was the shittiest boyfriend. Pete didn't deserve this, but Joe knew this was his fault.

If he hadn't been such a fucking prick all those months ago.

"I should go," Patrick wiped his nose and stood up, grabbing his jeans and sliding them on.

Joe's eyes aligned with tears he wouldn't let fall.

"Yeah, before.. We do anything else, look Patrick- I'm sorry," Joe tried, watching as Patrick slid on his shirt. Slumping down on the bed and loosening the laces on his shoes.

"I'm sorry too, Joe." Patrick said almost inaudibly, doing his best to tie his shoes. After doing so, grabbing his coat, sniffing and walking towards his door. Opening it slowly, wanting to say more, but not actually knowing what to say.

"Our secret?" Joe asked, voice cracking as he sat on our bed.

Patrick didn't respond as he shut the door on his way out.


End file.
